“That would be a great sex toy!”: How new age crystal dildos changed one sex shop worker’s life

I have to admit: I don’t buy into the whole crystal thing. I certainly have my new age-y tendencies — I did live in Austin, Texas, for several years, after all — but faith in the power of crystals (or anything vaguely supernatural, really) has always eluded me. I tend to rely more on what science has to say about the natural world than anything else, and the research behind crystals’ purported healing abilities is iffy, to say the least. As far as medical studies are concerned, there’s no evidence that crystals can clear diseases or other physical ailments.

But we’re all afforded faith and free will, so it’s difficult to see the harm in indulging in some crystal healing when one isn’t doing anything extreme or putting her or his health at risk. What if, instead, someone is aiming for a different sort of “healing” power — such as the kind where 15 minutes alone, a MacBook and a crystal (or any vaguely cylindrical object devoid of sharp edges, really) might be useful?

Turns out, whether you’re at all mystical or just looking for a nice new way to get off, crystals might be able to provide a bit of sexual healing — even if it’s just in the form of good ol’ basic genital stimulation. And a woman named Vanessa Cuccia has made it her business to prove it.

Cuccia is the founder of Chakrubs, a line of crystal dildos that aim to “bring a sense of sacredness to your playtime.” The former sex shop employee came up with the idea to sell handcrafted stone phalluses while she was doing some of her own sexual healing in California, shortly after she met her spiritual mentor and began learning about crystals. “I created Chakrubs because I have a desire for the products,” Cuccia told me recently by phone. “I made something that I wanted.”

But she also made something she believes in, which she understands won’t be the case for everyone who buys a Chakrub. For those who have faith in crystal healing, the Indian Jade Chakrub might seem like the perfect tool for enhancing domestic harmony between dueling spouses; for others who don’t, it could just be a sex toy they’re comfortable leaving on the nightstand instead of hiding in the top drawer. Regardless of what a Chakrub owner believes, the toys can still lead to plenty of orgasms.

12 Sex Toys You Shouldn't Be Without

Sex in the far recesses of human history was generally accomplished without the aid of toys or even without the knowledge that what one was engaged in had a name. Gradually, sex became much more sophisticated, and ultimately, knowledge about sex was available to the masses, who then wondered why everyone else was having a better time having sex than they were.

Fifty Shades of Grey, the 125-minute infomercial for the sex toy industry, has, apparently, influenced a lot of people to start thinking about sex in general, and sex toys specifically. Sites all over the web are touting the "Best Sex Toys to Try RIGHT NOW!," creating sex toy shortages all over town, and a growing sex toy black market. Life in the Boomer Lane, who knows that her readers like their bread buttered, will now present the "12 Sex Toys That Everyone Should Try," being touted by Refinery 29, a site that also has other nifty articles about a lot of stuff that terminally cool people should know about. Here, then, are the 12 sex toy products that you shouldn't live without:

1. Uberlube, the ultimate in lubrication, is hypoallergenic. Presumably, it is also gluten, soy and peanut-free. The downside is that it is tasteless (meaning undetectable by the taste buds, as opposed to being an indication of its being tawdry and low-class), thereby not being an option when one needs a snack and nothing else is around.

2. Minna Ola, is a vibrator so smart, it should be sold only to people in Mensa. It has "memory vibration" patterns, meaning that it can duplicate the vibrations the user requires and can be used to compose musical interludes for those times when one needs a break from non-stop orgasming. It also has a squeeze pad, "eliminating the need to fumble around in the dark to find a button." LBL doesn't know about you, but she is pretty sure that light wouldn't be critical to locate a button on something that is only about eight inches long (Note to readers: This last sentence was, in no way, intended to be used as an inappropriate and highly offensive metaphor).

3. The Blossom Sleeve This handy device has absolutely nothing to do with either flowers or articles of clothing, and so LBL will refrain from further description.

4. Leyla Lylo 2 is a remote-controlled vibrator, which can be activated from up to 39 feet away. This is especially handy when one requires sexual congress and one's partner is too busy doing taxes/surfing the web/changing the cat's litter/talking to their mother/watching the Bo-taoshi finals televised from Japan.

5. Moregasmis is a book that covers "every single topic related to sex." LBL isn't sure how the authors can accomplish this in a mere 272 pages, given that, according to a recent issue of Cosmopolitan, there are at least twice as many sexual positions, alone, which leaves no space left for all that other stuff that everyone knows about but you.

6. Babeland Massage Candle is a product that does double-duty. The candle burns and does whatever candles do. Then, through some complicated scientific process, one can safely brush or paint the melted wax directly onto one's partner, as soon as it drips off the wick. LBL is unclear what one is supposed to do after being covered with wax, but presumably, whatever one does, there hopefully won't later be a removal issue as resistant as that with LBL's expensive tablecloth, after a candlelit, holiday dinner.

7. Candy Colored Glass Dildo Far be it for LBL to critique a dildo, especially one that takes great pains to be pretty far removed from the actual object that dildos are supposed to represent.

8. Je Joue Mio LBL will leave readers to do their own research on this product, other than to point out that it is available at fine emporiums such as Mr Will's House of Thrills. She is not making this up.

9. Blossom Organics Natural Moisturizing Lubricant LBL notes here that there are two lubricants on the list. She is sure that each one must play its own very specific part in the drama of sex. Use of both at the same time should be tried only by bonded and licensed professionals.

10. Liberator Heart Wedge is a red, heart-shaped cushion that allows one to achieve all the sexual positions noted in Moregasm. It is also just a regular pillow that is heart-shaped and covered with red fabric. This is an example of brilliant marketing, a modern-day Dickie the Stick. It is also a potentially thrifty purchase for the consumer, as one can also use the Liberator to decorate one's couch or dog bed, and no one will be the wiser.

11. Icicles Daisy Plug Like the Mio, LBL will allow readers to do their own research on this product. She will only say that she, personally, feels it is quite unsavory to use the word "icicles" in conjunction with the word "plug."

12. Je Joue Mimi is a flat vibrator, of sorts, that is held between two people, preferably people who actually know each other. It would not be appropriate for use on crowded subways or when one is in a crush of people, attempting to leave a concert or sports arena.

As always, these products are meant for mature adults or for immature adults who have the cash needed for purchase. The manufacturer doesn't really care one bit who he sells toys to.

A final note to readers: It may help to know that of the 125 minutes in which 50 Shades of Grey slogs along, the time devoted to actual sex is 14 minutes and 17 seconds. This translates to approximate 11 percent. And, subtracting time for apparatus set up and breakdown, and taking into account battery changes, technical malfunctions, and time on hold before one gets to speak to a technical helper, actual sex time amounts to less than 1.5 percent. This should make all of you feel a lot better about whatever it is you do in your own bedrooms when there is nothing good on TV and you have finished the book you have been reading.

Sexy lingerie is a hot item for thieves

St. Petersburg, Florida -- It wouldn't be Valentine's Day without a case of panty snatchers, but this isn't just an isolated incident.

The surveillance video is crystal clear. A group of young suspects stealing lingerie, bold as brass, from the Victoria's Secret at Tyrone Square Mall, and it wasn't just once.

According to St. Pete Police, on three separate occasions in January, suspects openly stuffed dozens of bras, panties and negligees into bags, out in the open and then walking out. Not a store employee in sight.

On each occasion the store's surveillance cameras captured the suspects stealing more than $2,500 worth of woman's undergarments.

During the month of January, St. Pete Police say an organized theft ring hit the Victoria Secret store in the Tyrone Mall.

PHOTOS: Theft ring targets St. Pete Victoria's Secret store

The suspects appear to be well organized with some acting as lookouts and distracters while the theft is occurring.

We showed the video to young people at the Tyrone Square Mall for reaction.

These four teenager know all about Victoria's Secret, but they don't know what to think about the video.

During the month of January, St. Pete Police say an organized theft ring hit the Victoria Secret store in the Tyrone Mall.

"It was a lot of stuff! It wasn't just one or two things, the guy was literally stuffing the bags full," said Dalton Arnold.

"He has no mask on. He's just putting it in bags and people are walking around like nothing's happened," said Will Greene.

"They're probably online selling it. If something's 50 bucks, you could sell it half price with tags still on it. People will buy it," said TJ Hayduke.

"He might have people to help him. It looked like multiple people and no one bats an eye, just walks by. It's a little bit strange," said Joel Clausen.

St. Pete Police are calling this an organized theft ring, so if you recognize anyone in this video, call the cops. Remember you can do it anonymously at 727-893-7780 or use the anonymous Tip-411! Text "SPPD" and your tip to 847-411 (

The Best Lingerie to Wear to Make You Feel Sexy

Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love and romance. If you're in a relationship, it's a day to appreciate your man and feel grateful that he's in your life. If you're not in love, don't stress. Have faith and know that Mr. Right is out there and it will happen for you one day. When the timing is right, it will all align.

I personally love sexy bras and panties. When I walk into a lingerie store, I'm immediately overjoyed with how beautiful everything is. I was taught from a young age that lingerie is something you can wear to make you feel sexy. I don't equate being single with wearing granny pants or being in a relationship with lace and thigh highs. Starting your day off wearing something sensual gives you an extra boost of confidence, only for you. It's like starting your day with a secret. And, when you have a man, sure, he'll absolutely love it too.

On that note, everyone, and yes, I mean everyone, can always manage to improve their lingerie collection. With Valentine's Day fast approaching, what you wear underneath your clothes should make you feel super flirtatious. Whether you like bustiers, bras, panties, or lacy little negligees, here are some ideas of gorgeous lingerie to make you feel a little racy and confident. Trust me. Get ready to feel naughty and nice.

Negligees
The definition of sexy is different for everyone. No one can tell you what you should feel sexy in. A negligee is a happy medium between a bustier outfit and a bra and panties.

Bustiers
Bustiers are a little more risqué. Sure, they're super attention grabbing. But, if you can't wear one on Valentine's Day, then when? Whether you're into see through or a little more covered up, you'll be both fun and seductive at the same time.

Bras and Panties
A good bra can make you feel like a whole new woman. Trust me. Everyone has been there. The power of a bra and panty being your go-to lingerie immediately has the ability to make you feel like the sexiest woman alive.

Thigh Highs
Thigh highs take things to the next level. When you put them on, you're saying "hello! look at me," which on a romantic day like V-Day, is a great thing!

Remember, lingerie is all about what suits your style. It's imperative that you feel confident in whatever you choose to wear.

Sex toy injuries surged after ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ was published

The number of Americans requiring emergency room care for injuries involving sex toys has approximately doubled since 2007, according to data from the Consumer Product Safety Commission. Much of that increase happened in 2012 and 2013, following the release of the wildly popular erotic novels in the Fifty Shades of Grey series. And the overwhelming majority of these injuries -- 83 percent -- require "foreign body removals."

These injuries all involved what we'd think of as sex toys -- the full range you might imagine, and a few you might not. (Follow to the CPSC data and dig into product code 1610 for the full R-rated descriptions.)The figures are estimates from the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, which is a nationally representative annual survey of hospital emergency room data, with an emphasis on injuries involving consumer products. Patient information is completely anonymized to protect privacy. According to the CPSC, it collects this data "to measure the number of injuries associated with the thousands of different consumer products in the marketplace."

The CPSC has tracked ER visits related to "massage devices and vibrators" going back to 1991. Until the early 2000s, there were a small number of these injuries each year -- hence, the lighter shaded bars in the chart above represent low-confidence estimates. But around 2003, the number of these injuries surpassed the agency's significance threshold, giving a greater degree of confidence in the numbers for the years after 2004.

In analyzing the data, I omitted incidents involving plain old run-of-the mill massage devices -- primarily people getting hurt by massage chairs at the mall, people burning themselves on heated massagers at home, and little kids putting back-scratchers in their mouths and jumping off furniture, injuring themselves in the process. These accounted for about 20 percent of the records in this product category.

The agency shares the demographics of this group of patients. The median sex toy injury victim is a middle-aged man -- 58 percent of the patients are male, and the median age among this group is 44. The women skew younger, with a median age of 30. The oldest man in the dataset is 85, while the oldest women is 67.

Most of the injuries aren't terribly severe, although some are. Seventy one percent of patients are treated and released, while 25 percent require hospitalization or transfer to a different facility. A handful end up refusing treatment. Some good news: none of the cases required assistance from the fire department, and there were zero deaths recorded.

Startups are searching for legal loopholes to bring sex toys to India

In the latest war against Indian sex toys—yes, that’s a thing—Delhi lawyer Suhaas Joshi took online retailer Snapdeal to court for selling sex accessories that he says violate several laws. The case has highlighted how marketers are finding legal loopholes to satisfy consumers’ insatiable lust for sex toys.

Joshi’s main focus is India’s anti-homosexuality law, Section 377. But most sex toy crackdowns uphold the century-old Section 292 of the Indian Penal Code, which says any book, drawing, figure or object “shall be deemed to be obscene” if it fuels lascivious, or overtly sexual, thoughts and behaviour, and Section 67 of the IT Act duplicates this law for the internet.

The laws, however, can’t seem to be able to control India’s appetite for such things. More couples than ever are opening up about sex and trying out new toys in the bedroom. And the burgeoning online sex-toy market is there to help them out. Some estimate that India’s online sexual wellness industry will be worth Rs8,700 crore ($1.4 billion) by 2020, a massive increase from about Rs1,000 crore ($161 million) in 2014.

“Sexual wellness is a growing category,” said a spokesperson at Flipkart, India’s largest e-commerce website. She said the privacy factor, including the way they ship and package the products, is one reason customers are drawn to their discreet world of online shopping.

Skirting the law

Like Amazon and other big retailers, Flipkart plays it safe. It offers products such as vibrators, dildos and flavoured lubricants under labels like “health and personal care,”so that they don’t scream sex so much as whisper it in lovers’ ears. Other sites are more upfront. Masala Toysoffers blow-up sex dolls with realistic hair placement, and colourful vaginal beads.

Many of these products are only legal—or illegal—depending on how they are displayed, shaped and sold, said Vaibhav Parikh, a partner at international law firm, Nishith Desai Associates. “Some products fall into the grey area and depend on circumstances—a massager is legal, but one that is shaped like a private part is considered to be illegal,” he said.

In the Snapdeal case, Joshi, a Supreme Court advocate, said he wanted to test the anti-homosexuality law on the company’s collection of anal lubricants, dildos and vibrators. Snapdeal, which connects vendors and buyers, said it takes down listings if they are reported as inappropriate.

When courts decide on whether a sex toy is legal or illegal, Parikh explained, they are usually trying to figure out whether the way a product was advertised made people act and buy it with a “depraved mindset.”

But that fear of depraved, sexualised behaviour is why other people argue that sex toys should exist. Ira Trivedi, author of India in Love, a book about India’s complicated sexual revolution, said many doctors and sexologists prescribe sex toys as a healthy outlet, especially for single men.

Toying with depravity

In her book, Trivedi cites that the government has cracked down on vendors for smuggling sex toys and lingerie. And she found that online sex-toy websites hire teams of lawyers before they set up shop.

“Yes there is censorship, yes it’s under the radar, but people are trying to get around that,” Trivedi said.

Customers also try to circumvent these restrictions to get what they desire. Quartz spoke to a Mumbai-based marketing professional—who chose to remain anonymous—who has gathered a collection of sex toys from across the world, spending as much as $200 for a glass dildo.

She has had little luck buying sex toys in the Indian market since the quality and variety is limited in the hush-hush black market atmosphere. Products seem overpriced online. And shopping otherwise requires knowing exactly where to go and who to buy from in markets such as Delhi’s Karol Bagh.

Even so, she thinks India’s young and sexually active society doesn’t shy away from the products because of the law. “That legal factor doesn’t play on anyone’s mind,” she said. “Women are no longer shy to talk about sex and things of pleasure.”

However open the public mindset on topics of sex and erotic play might be, Parikh said the laws are here to stay, and that any company selling things in India will be expected to get on board.

Looks like those handcuffs might come to plenty of use.